How To Skate Mongo And Why You Should Do It

It used to be that if you skated mongo everyone would give you shit. I’m not entirely sure if that’s the case any more. But it’s high time to teach the world the wonderful ways of mongo.

WTF is Mongo?

Skating mongo is when you push with your front foot instead of your back foot when skating regular stance. It doesn’t seem to apply when skating switch stance.

Usually, you’ll see younger kids skating mongo, but as they get older and start to get more shit for it, they force themselves to skate non-mongo. And I have to a agree, non-mongo pushing definitely has more steeze. But let me rant first…

You’re Probably Shitting Wrong

That’s right. You probably take shits the wrong way. Because you’re shitting the “acceptable” way. The way society has decided how you should shit in a first world country.

Skating mongo is a superior style just like shitting while squatting is a vastly superior way to shit. Everyone thinks shitting on toilets is “normal” and the cool way to shit and you’re a fuckin weirdo if you squat. BUT TRY SQUATTING ONE DAY. You won’t be on the toilet for hours. It will come out perfect. You’re day will be FUCKING FANTASTIC.

And

you’ll

never

go

back.

Same goes for mongo.

You Know What Mongo Says To Cracks & Rocks?

Not crack rocks.

But rock and cracks.

It says:

“Tis! Piss off! I’m coming through and you shant slow me roll matey!”

That’s right.

Mongo blows past cracks and (most) rocks like they ain’t no thang. Uneven sidewalk ahead? No biggie, mongo just pops the front of the board up and over it. Little shithead pebble on the ground? Whatevers. Rolls right over ’em.

So just for the sole purpose of skating for transportation – going from point A to point B – say to get beer – mongo rules. You want to come home with beers in tact right?

Want To Double Your Skating Speed?

Mongo allows you for greater leg extension, which means you can skate faster than you ever did before. So you know those spots where you don’t have enough runway to get the speed you need to clear it? BINGO! Try mongo. You’ll be killing spots no one has ever touched. And you can even say you did it switch heheheheheheh….

Your Switch Tricks Will Look Sick

One of the weird caveats of skating mongo is your switch skating becomes non-mongo. So now you look uber pro because you’re pushing non-mongo for all your switch tricks. OMG what a wonderful world this mongo is!

No-Complys Are Easier

Yeah that’s all really. Nothing special. If you like doing this trick, then it’s a blessing in disguise.

When Mongo Comes In Style You’ll Be Ahead Of The Game

Think far into the future. You know everything changes. Styles change. Hell, it’s cool to be gay these days. Who would have ever thought that was going to happen? So naturally, mongo will be the way to skate in the future. There is no question. THIS IS THE TRUTH.

My Mongclusion

Well I hope I have changed your minds and hopefully this amazing information will spread like wildfire through the interwebs and by next month, the entire world be mongo. If not, for the love of God, try squatting for your next turd.

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